The Hounds
by MissScarletInTheLibrary
Summary: A series of one-shot ficlets based on Seth, Dean and Roman, as individuals and a group. If you have a request, I'll do my best to write it, if they get my muses going. Rated M for potential future chapters.


**A/N: The first in a series of ficlets based on Seth, Dean and Roman, as individuals and a group.**

**Allonsyambrose on Tumblr requested a ficlet where all three swap bodies, and this is the result.**

**Please enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review! **

**Also, if you have any requests, I'll do my best to write them if they get my muses going. **

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><p>"Oh man, I'm so <em>hot<em>. Like, look at these guns." Roman flexed, admiring his body in the full-length mirror. "And check out this fucking hair."

Seth rolled his eyes, trying to hide a grin. This was a weird situation, yes, but trust that lunatic to see the silver lining. "Glad you like it, man. But don't forget to condition thoroughly when you shower, okay? That's key."

Dean huffed loudly from his perch in the corner, frowning as he frantically searched Google. "This isn't funny, guys! How the hell did this even happen? There's got to be a way to reverse it. I won't rest until we find it."

"Relaaaaax," Roman said casually, taking his shirt off and running his hands over his chest, still checking himself out. "I kind of like it. Roman's got this big, thick body. And I've got a dirty mind..."

Seth's smile faded instantly, colour draining from his face. "Hold up - do _not_ jack off. Keep your hands off my dick, dude. I'm serious. This shit is freaky enough as it is. We don't need to be crossing all sorts of lines that we can't go back on."

Dean sighed, running a hand through his hair. "There's nothing. Just some stuff about a lame Disney movie. This has to have happened before. People talk about alien abductions all the damn time - why hasn't anyone set up a help group for victims of body swapping?"

Roman snorted, finally turning to face them and flicking his nipples casually, much to Seth's chagrin. "Like I said, relaaaax. We'll figure it out. It happened out of the blue, I'm sure we'll switch back just as randomly. So, while we're stuck in this Freaky Friday shit, we should make the most of it."

"Why do you have to touch my nipples?" Seth whined, pleading with his eyes for Roman to stop such public acts of self (or, his self?) love.

Roman reluctantly let his hands drop down to his hips. "There. Happy, Mr. Killjoy? You sure you aren't taking on some of Seth's qualities already?"

"Fuck you," Dean snapped from the corner, throwing his phone into his suitcase. "Fine. If we can't do anything about it, then how do you suggest we make the most of it?"

Roman tapped his collarbone idly for a few seconds, before a sly smile spread across his full lips. "I got an idea."

"If you fondle any other parts of me, I swear to God-"

"Nah, nothing like that. Just watch." Roman walked over to the door and swung it open, strolling out into the hallway.

Seth and Dean followed him curiously, accustomed to Dean's eccentricity, albeit not while being channeled through the body of a large Samoan.

Roman glanced up and down the corridor, looking for his target.

"Put on a damn shirt!" Seth hissed, looking around nervously. "You know we're supposed to cover up when we're not onscreen. This is still our workplace, you know."

Roman dismissed him with a wave of his hand, his eyes lighting up as he watched a figure approach. "Hey sweetheart, how you doing?"

Seth and Dean's heads snapped in the opposite direction, finding Lana strutting toward them. "I'm good, Mr. Reigns. And you?"

"All the better for seeing you today," Roman winked, flexing his pecs a little. "Hey, there's something I wanted to ask you."

The action didn't escape Lana's notice, her eyes catching the subtle movement, approval warming her gaze. "Yes…?"

"Are you free for dinner tonight? I know a great place in the city that does Eastern European food. Give you a real taste of home."

Seth could feel himself breaking out in a sweat. What was this troglodyte doing?! He didn't know if he could come back from this reputational damage…or the damage to his ego if she turned him…or, Dean, really…down.

He was about to break up the little charade when Lana smiled and nodded, "Meet me in the hotel lobby at 10pm."

With that, she strode away, all three men eyeing up her long legs appreciatively.

Seth gulped, remembering that he was supposed to be angry a few seconds later. He turned to Roman and slapped him on the chest, then threw in a smack to the side of the head for good measure.

"What did you do that for?!"

"Oh come on, I've seen you two eye fucking each other for _months_. You know you want those legs wrapped around you, hearing her moan at you in Russian, riding your dick. You two are gonna make real pretty babies."

Seth blushed, trying really hard to hold on to his anger…and failing miserably. "Thanks, man. I could never work up the nerve to ask her…but what if we haven't switched back by 10?"

Roman smiled widely, pinching his nipples with a flourish. "Then I guess I'll just have to take one for the team. Don't worry, Uce. I'll bring my best stroke game."

Seth groaned, burying his face in his hands. "What the _hell_ have we gotten ourselves into?" He paused in his misery, sniffing his palms. "What the _hell_ did you put on your hands? Is that…strawberries?"

Dean shifted uncomfortably, before his stance turned defensive. "Yeah, and what? I like to keep my hands smooth after all of that snatching and chalk at Crossfit. I'm not an animal…"

Seth and Roman burst out laughing, bending over and grabbing their bellies, even when Dean started to smack at them angrily.

"Screw you both!" Dean yelled, storming back into the locker room.

Once recovered, Seth and Roman followed him, still chuckling to themselves.

Roman's laughter ceased immediately when he caught sight of Dean. "What are you doing? Take that out of your mouth right now!"

Dean smirked, shaking his head. "…_Nope_! Mmm, so yummy. So _healthy_. I just _love_ salads."

Roman lunged for him, but Seth quickly intervened, shoving the bigger body back. "No! Get it together. He's only doing this to provoke you, calm down. Besides, it _is_ good for you."

"Then _you_ should eat a cupcake. One full of sugar and fat and delicious chocolate. Here, let me get one."

Roman rummaged through his suitcase, exclaiming triumphantly when he produced a chocolate cupcake wrapped in plastic. He handed it Seth, "Tuck in. Make sure you eat every single crumb."

Dean looked on in horror as Seth sank his teeth into the treat, closing his eyes and groaning loudly for dramatic effect.

"No! Don't do it! Stay strong!" Dean urged, wringing his hands together. "We're better than this! Think of the abs!"

Seth paused mid-chew, adjusting his glasses, pursing his lips thoughtfully. "I have a better idea."

"Yes!" Dean fist-pumped, relieved that the lump of gooey fat wouldn't end up on his ass. "I always knew you were smarter than you looked."

"I look like _you_ right now, dumbass," Seth snarked, setting the cupcake down and grabbing the beat up golden briefcase that sat on the bench. "I'll be right back."

"Where you going?" Roman called after him.

"I'm going to cash in on Nikki!"

"_What_?! Get back here, you beautiful bastard!"

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><p><strong>AN: If I've made any mistakes, forgive me. I wrote this in less than an hour. Thanks for reading!**


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